SEX, BOMBS & BURGERS

A survey put out by McDonald's Canada got a good deal of media attention yesterday. The Windsor Star chose to go with a story that inverted the news, reporting that 5% of respondents to the survey said they'd rather go for a late-night Big Mac than sex. That doesn't seem that surprising - sometimes when you've got a craving, you've got a craving - so it seems odd that the writer went with that hook. The obvious news there is that 95% would rather take the sex.

The fact I found more interesting is the one McDonald's touted on its - that 64% of adult Canadians would go on a second date with someone if that person took them to McDonald's for the first date.

For the most part, I find that hard to believe. It's no secret that McDonald's is working very hard to boost its public image but the fact remains, the majority of adults still still see it as a source of cheap, fast food, possibly even a food of last resort. The suggestion that McDonald's is a highly thought-of destination, especially for a first date, is largely absurd. Perhaps I run in elitist circles, but I know almost zero women that would be impressed by a suggestion to go to McDonald's EVER, much less for an important event like a first date.

However - I imagine it would be fairly the opposite with men. We know that, statistically, men eat more meat than women, and it can generally be said that we like burgers more. A woman asking a man to go to McDonald's is therefore much more likely to meet with agreement.

If I were to give that 64% result the benefit of the doubt and try to explain it, I'd say it's because the suggestion of dinner at McDonald's shows that your date has a sense of humour. It could also indicate they are a child at heart, because many of us have fond memories of eating at McDonald's when we were young. I remember I used to get rewarded for A's on my report card with a trip to McD's. My reward for B's, though, was a beating, which probably simultaneously explains my natural competitiveness and my love for McDonald's.

Anyhow, since McDonald's brought up Big Macs and dating, I thought I'd usher out another week with a fun list. Feel free to use these at the next party you go to:

Ten McDonald's Themed Pick-Up Lines
By Peter Nowak

10. Do you prefer Italian Pesto or Spicy Thai?
9. Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce... me?
8. Want to see my Quarter Pounder? Er... I mean my Big Mac?
7. Your daddy must have been the Hamburglar because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes!
6. I'm just like a milkshake baby: You'll dig me so much I'll make you sick!
5. I like your double arches.
4. Your legs are just like the fries: they're long, thin and bad for me!
3. I'd love to reconstitute your onions.
2. How about some cadmium in your cup?
1. Would you like me to supersize that for you?