SEX, BOMBS & BURGERS

With my trip to Australia and New Zealand seeming like an eternity ago, the memory of the horror show that was the trip over has faded considerably. You may recall that my already lengthy 22-hour trip became a nightmarish 48 hours thanks to an almost unfathomable string of ineptitudes from Qantas. My rant about that back in April was my single most-read blog post ever (I'm still trying to figure out why - do that many people hate Qantas?). Reading it over now, I'm reminded of the new heights in anger that this particular airline introduced me to.

It was that anger - and my gradual decline into cranky old man-ness - that prompted me to write a letter of complaint to Qantas when I got back from the trip. I made all the usual demands, i.e. my money back, an apology, a pony ride, etc., and sent it off. I suspect that most people who write such letters don't really do so because we actually want our demands met. It's really more of a therapy; the act of venting onto a piece of paper or email just makes us feel better. I did actually feel better, and slowly forgot about the whole affair.

You can imagine my surprise when, months later, I actually got a response. A customer service agent wrote me back to tell me that they were sending me a $400 voucher, good on Qantas or any of its partners (including American Airlines and British Airways). It's funny because my first thought was remembering going to complain at Qantas's head office in Sydney. The woman there told me to write to customer service and that they would get back to me because "we're not like those American airlines." It should be noted that I also wrote a complaint to American Airlines, since I had actually bought my Qantas flight through them, and I still have yet to even get an acknowledgement of my email in response.

So does $400 make up for that Easter weekend debacle? Definitely not. There's just no excusing 26 hours of delay. As a strong believer in our capitalist system, I think the consumer should always be guaranteed the goods or services he or she paid for in a timely and reasonable manner. I fly a lot and delays are an inevitable part of the gig, but more than doubling your travel time is not reasonable by any stretch of the imagination. I remember once flying on Iberia in Spain - the flight was only an hour, but it was delayed by 30 minutes; they gave out coupons for free flights as a result. All of the passengers went from somewhat grumpy to very happy. That's how the customer should be treated!

But, I must give Qantas kudos for making the effort. Even though the voucher amounts to only about 25 per cent of the total flight cost, at least it's a relatively meaningful gesture. I should at least be able to use it to fly to the U.S., or even most of the way to the U.K. this fall for the launch of Sex, Bombs and Burgers there. I'll stop short of singing the airline's praises, but it would be wrong to not recognize that they're at least trying to do right by their customers. And that's worth something.

Speaking of which... hey American, I'm still waiting for my reply!